


Once You Get To Know Him

by dubstepgun



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-26
Updated: 2012-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-08 14:29:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/444188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dubstepgun/pseuds/dubstepgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The monster's not so bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once You Get To Know Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely ridiculous in many, many ways.

"I saw a frickin' monster." 

"Uh-huh," said Engie, not bothering to look up from whatever weird shit he was working on. "Sure ya did." 

"I'm serious! There's something down there." 

"Mm-hm," Medic said, flicking the tip of a needle. "Remember vhat I told you, not to be drinking ze vater at ze hydro plant." 

"I saw it when I was runnin' for the intel. This big ol' shadow lurking around the tunnels." 

"Then go get!" Heavy laughed. "Kill monster and bring back head." 

"It's friggin' huge, with tentacles or some shit!" 

"Mrff mrm." 

"Man, I don't know why I bother talkin' to you." 

**** 

Scout didn't stay given up for long. The next day, after ceasefire, he was right back to hunting down somebody who would give a damn. 

Okay, not right after. That was dinner, and a man needed to eat. 

Anyway, there was a monster or something in their base, and he was _not_ dealing with that thing alone. He needed some backup here. So, after dinner, he went looking for the one guy who knew something about weird-ass animals. They had monsters in Australia, right? 

Sniper listened to him, too. When Scout told him about a sweet perch he'd stumbled on exploring - _exploring_ , not _lost_ , dumbass - Sniper used it. Even said, "Thanks, mate." The thing was, he disappeared a lot, and if he didn't want you finding him you weren't gonna. So Scout kept an eye on him and slipped out behind him after dinner to try to talk somewhere no faggy Frenchie was gonna overhear and say "Aren't you a little old to believe in monstairz?" 

Sniper wasn't as quick on his feet as Scout, but he didn't waste time and had a way of slipping around things. Scout kept almost losing him around corners. It was almost like he didn't want anybody to know where he was going. 

Wait a minute...hadn't he been quiet tonight? Acting a little funny? Listening a little too closely? Shit, if the other guys were sending in spies after ceasefire, that was fucked up! Scout could catch him red-handed! Blue-handed. Whatever. 

And there he went, down into the waterways under the base. Scout looked around the corner and darted in after him before he had the chance to think about it. The place was even creepier at night. He didn't know where light was coming from, but he could see decent, once his eyes adjusted. The air smelled wet, and there wasn't any sound but Sniper's steps and water lapping at concrete. Scout followed into the tunnels, trying to keep quiet. He didn't have much practice at that, so it took a lot of concentration. He almost went around a corner and smacked into Sniper. He jumped back and flattened against the wall. He have to have spotted him. Shit. And he was getting so _good_ at keeping knives out of his back. 

When Scout got up the nerve to peek around, he was just standing there. Hands in his pockets, looking around casually. Scout tried to keep his breathing quiet. He stayed there for a long time, until the damp from the walls was soaking through Scout's thin shirt and he was beginning to feel kinda like a moron. This was probably just Sniper's way of getting some privacy. He looked like he was waiting for something, but hell, this was the guy who could sit and wait for six hours for somebody to poke their head out of a door. He probably always looked like that. Scout was starting to think he might as well come out and just say that he was, uh, exploring or something, hey what a coincidence, anyway while you're here- 

Did the water just get louder? 

There was more than just the little wave noises. There was something moving. Something close. 

Scout's body decided that being real flat and real quiet was a good idea, though he kept staring at Sniper. Whatever the hell the thing was, they could double-team it and maybe get away just losing a couple limbs they wouldn't miss that much. 

Something was coming out of the water. Right in front of Sniper. 

What, did staring at things ten miles away all the time make you blind or something? He didn't even take off his goddamn sunglasses! 

Whatever it was, it was human-shaped. It looked like a man coming out of the channel, water running off of it, except moving way too straight up and smooth for somebody who'd been swimming. It was more like...rising. It had a weird dark head with no hair- 

No. A mask. 

And it kept coming. Where legs should have been there was a dark, tangled mass, just like the silhouette of something huge Scout had seen before, except a lot closer and a lot, lot worse. It was a Spy with a fucking giant octopus for a body, heaving shiny thick tentacles out of the water and headed straight for Sniper. He looked straight at it like it was something he'd seen a million times, and didn't even flinch. 

Scout was never, _ever_ going to Australia. 

******** 

"Back so soon, mon cher?" With the pointy teeth it was hard to tell it was a friendly smile, if you weren't used to it. "If I did not know better, I would think you 'ad begun to miss me." 

"'s not easy to get down 'ere, mate." Sniper tipped his hat back apologetically. "That's wot I come to talk to you about." 

His friend brought some of its tentacles up onto the walkway and leaned forward, for all the world like a guy leaning on his arms on a desk. 

"The kid's catching on," Sniper said. He tapped the fella on the forehead with his finger. The wet mask squished. "You gotta be more careful 'bout lettin' yourself get seen." 

"Ze boy 'oo is always shouting? 'Oo would believe him?" 

"It only takes Pyro gettin' bored one day and doin' a thorough sweep through here." Sniper tilted his glasses down to give him a stern look. "So keep your head down if you don't wanna end up calimari." 

"Perhaps you are right." The end of a tentacle wound companionably around Sniper's shoulders. "It is only zat I get so lonely, down here in ze dark and ze cold." 

"I know, I know," Sniper said, patting a tentacle. "There's only so often I can sneak off without somebody gettin' suspicious." 

He'd first found the fella when he was wandering through the tunnels months ago, looking for ways to travel to good positions without being spotted by the enemy. He'd heard somebody following him and figured he wasn't the only one with that idea. He'd hunted the culprit down, ready to wake up in the respawn room any minute, since the close quarters put him at a disadvantage. Once he'd coaxed the interloper out of the shadows at gunpoint, Sniper'd nearly had to laugh. Just an octopusman. 

Since then, he'd come by whenever he could, and they'd become chums. Sure, he had claws and tentacles and teeth like a bear trap. Sniper'd known plenty of one hundred percent bona fide humans who were less civilised, and who was he to judge? 

"'Ere, this'll cheer you up. Brought somethin' for ya." 

Sniper unbuttoned his vest pocket and pulled out two boxes, one the size of his palm and the other a good deal smaller, and put them into the gloved hands. They looked just like a human's except for the little sharp points at the fingertips. 

"Cigarettes?" His friend's face lit up. "Ah, you are truly a bon ami." 

"The matches are covered in wax. Waterproof." 

"You zink of all ze details." He took the prize and tucked it inside his jacket. Sniper didn't know where he'd gotten the top half of a blue pinstripe suit, but he wasn't the type to pry into other people's business. "How can I show my appreciation?" 

"No worries. It's nothing much- oy!" 

Sniper yelped as tentacles caught him from four directions at once and pulled him up. Tentaspy glided fully out of the water and twisted around to put his back to the wall and perch Sniper on his lap. 

Sniper laughed dizzily and turned in his arms. Tentacles. All that. "If you wanted a kiss, mate, you shoulda just said so." 

His lips were cold at first. They warmed up fast. Sniper ran his tongue along the serrated ridge of his teeth. His mouth was as hot and wet as anybody's, and Sniper appreciated the way he had of taking his time. 

Sniper felt his hat and glasses lift off, as a tentacle pushed his vest off his shoulders and another slipped under his shirt. He helped shimmy out of it and tossed it, aiming for somewhere dry. He really should be getting back, but hell, a little while couldn't hurt. He smiled at a tentacle tip tracing his spine. 

"Useful things, all those arms o' yours," Sniper said, running his hand down the thick trunk of one near where it attached to the Tentaspy's body, making him sigh in pleasure. 

"I don't know 'ow you ozers get by. If I had only zee two, I could not do zis..." 

A pair of tentacles tugged down his pants while the two humanlike hands ran down Sniper's chest, teasing with the edge of gloved claws. Sniper let out a little bit of an "ooh." One tentacle curled securely around his waist, like getting a hug from an affectionate python. His pants fell down around his ankles and were caught on his boots, to his amusement. The one thing those tentacles couldn't manage was shoelaces, though they'd once spent an entertaining day trying. 

What they could do was touch everywhere at once, cool and slick, warming up where they slid across Sniper's heating skin, brushes of the slick tops alternating with caresses of the undersides with their suckers that kissed and pulled in a way that was as strange as it was addictive. 

It'd started out innocent. Tentaspy was a tactile sort; being born and raised down here, his senses of touch and smell were keener than his sight. After they'd come to an agreement about him not biting any of Sniper's limbs off and Sniper not shooting him, naturally he was curious, so Sniper held real still and let him poke around. Legs were a fascination. What was between them, too. All Sniper said at first was "Careful wi' that." 

Tentaspy could read body language, and the look he gave him said he could feel Sniper's muscles tensing up. He'd asked, "Does it 'urt?" 

Sniper'd caught his breath and said, "Nah, mate. Nah." 

One thing about the fella: he was a right quick learner. 

Now he knew how to get sounds out of him Sniper hadn't known he was capable of. He tried to keep himself quiet as a gloved hand cupped the curve of his cheek and a tentacle ran down his chest, while another fondled his arse through his boxers. Any noise down here echoed to the rafters. His breathing was getting loud and rough, and when a pair of tentacles hooked into the waistband he wriggled around and made a little half-swallowed wanting noise, and about then he noticed that his wasn't the only breath getting frantic. 

Sniper's eyes opened. 

There was a figure standing a few meters away along the walkway, mouth hanging open and eyes wide as marbles. 

He pointed at the two of them and stammered, "Aa- ah- ah-" 

Sniper tried to sit up fast, a hard thing to do when you were in a nest of startled tentacles. 

"Now listen mate," he said quickly, "this isn't what it looks like." 

Scout got a full lungful of air and shrieked. 

"AUSSIE SQUIDFUCKER!" 

Sniper got the feeling things were about to get complicated. 

******************* 

Scout's brain had stalled when the monster came out of the water and shut down completely when instead of splattering its brains out like a goddamn normal person Sniper started letting it feel him up. Now his mouth was running all on its own. 

"OCTOFAG PERVERT TRAITOR!" 

"Will you shut the bloody 'ell up!" Sniper hissed, waving his hands around and wincing like SCOUT was the one doing something wrong. It didn't help that he was practically naked except for boxers - seriously, Sniper, little red hearts? - and they were kind of wet from being groped by a SEA MONSTER FUCKING HELL. 

It wasn't like Sniper was kind of good-looking when you hadn't seen a woman in months, or that the look of bliss on his normally controlled face made Scout not sure who to be jealous of, or that what freaked him out most of all was that he was kind of turned on. It was that Scout'd thought he was a decent guy, and all along he was selling them out to seafood. 

"THERE'S A MONSTER AND IT'S GONNA KILL US ALL AND YOU'RE MAKING IT OUT WITH IT!" 

"Nobody's gettin' killed," Sniper said, untangling himself and stepping toward Scout still trying to shush him. "Just calm down and I'll explain-" 

"DON'T EVEN THINK I'M NOT TELLING EVERYBODY ABOUT THIS, YOU PSYCHO KANGAROO AQUARIUMFAG! I'M GONNA mmf!" 

Oh fuck. 

He'd forgotten Rule No. 1- 

Always keep your eye on the squidmonster. 

The thing moved so fast and smooth he could barely see it, and suddenly it was behind him and he was lifted in midair with tentacles wrapping up his arms and legs, cold and slimy and like fucking tree trunks, and another slapped across his mouth. He felt his headset lifted off and heard it clatter on the ground. 

"Such an excitable boy," the monster said in his ear, with a voice that sounded like Spy down to the accent. He smelled like deep water and French cologne. 

Scout tried to bite a chunk out of the tentacle, but the surface was too round and smooth to get purchase. He thrashed as hard as he could. Or tried to. The tentacles didn't move an inch. 

About then, it occurred to him to get scared. 

He stared at Sniper, who was rubbing a hand through his hair and shaking his head. Scout tried to silently say Come on, man, I'm your teammate, I'm sorry I gave you crap about going out and living with the koalas oh god please please don't feed me to your pet monster. 

Sniper came closer. 

"It's all roight, mate," he said gently, like he was talking to a scared wallaby or whatever the fuck he usually talked to. "'e's not a bad sort." 

"I am not going to 'urt you," the monster said. "I will let you go, if you can be'ave yourself." 

It didn't sound like something somebody who planned to rip you up and eat your kidneys would say. 

Very, very carefully, Scout nodded. 

The grip around him loosened a little, and he felt his feet set back on the ground. The tentacle covering his mouth let go slowly and stayed near. 

Scout took a deep breath, keeping his eyes locked on Sniper. 

As calmly as he could, he said, "Could you pretty please tell me what the fuck is going on here?" 

He added, "And get this thing off me?" 

He added again, "And put on some clothes?" 

Scout was a tough guy. He could deal with either squidmonsters or hairy-chested Australians, but both at once was asking a little much. 

"'e's not a thing, or a monstah," Sniper said, completely missing the point. For some reason, not having his hat and glasses on made him look more naked than not wearing pants. 

"What the hell do you call a fuckin' octopus man?" Scout demanded, his voice just a little bit high and shrill. 

Sniper slapped the monster on the shoulder, coming way too close to do it. "I call 'im Tentaspy." 

"Tentaspy," Scout echoed weakly. 

"A pleazure to meet you," the squidthing said. 

"'e's a friend," said Sniper, touching the thing on a tentacle voluntarily. "I found him down 'ere a while back, an' 'e's been keepin' an eye out for us ever since. Ever wonder why the BLUs haven't been gettin' through here much lately?" 

Actually, Scout had thought it was because he was just that badass. 

Sniper was leaning on the damn thing's massive body, though it wasn't quite so big when it was out of the water and you could see where it stopped. 

For some reason, having Sniper up in his face and looking straight and steadily at him almost made Scout more nervous than anything. It must've been because of all the times when holding still and being in a Sniper's sights meant bad news. 

"'e's a person, same as anybody. 'e just has different legs is all. 'ell," and Sniper kind of smiled, "'e's less of a prick than the Spy upstairs." 

It didn't help that he was practically naked. He was in pretty good shape for an old guy, though. 

"Yeah, real nice," Scout said, trying to wiggle out of the monster's grip. "Now will you let me go? Hey!" 

That was for the tentacle that poked him in the middle of the forehead. "Only if we can trust you not to run off and tell ze ozers." 

"Okay, okay! Just getcher slimy legs off me!" 

All right, so they weren't exactly slimy, but cold, wet, and slick was close enough. Whatever you called them, they felt really, really weird, and Scout wanted them off before he had to think about it anymore. Okay, maybe not so cold, either, after the shock wore off. They must have picked up some warmth from Sniper's skin oh fuck don't think about that! 

To Scout's surprise, the monster actually let him go and backed off. Before he could sprint the hell out of there, Sniper grabbed his arm. 

"Listen," he said, "we've gotta keep this between you and me, mate, else it's torches and pitchforks time. I don't think 'e'll respawn loik the rest of us." 

Scout looked warily between Sniper's beseeching expression and the Frenchie squidthing's masked face. He got a suspicion it was trying to look harmless. 

"You don't kill and eat people, do ya?" he said. 

"Never," the monster said, looking surprised, like he didn't know that creepy monsters living under stuff always kill and eat people. 

"You're not an alien invader?" 

"Not at all." 

"You don't have some kind of sinister plan? Like, you're biding your time and lurking around down here, and observing us, and stealing our DNA, and laying a whole bunch of eggs, and one day we wake up and the one place is crawlin' with little TentacleUs's?" 

"Mais non," said the Tentaspy, having the balls to give him a weird look. 

"You gotta stop watchin' movies what are on at two in the mornin', kid," said Sniper. 

Scout ignored him. He was thinking hard. 

"We-e-e-ll," he said slowly, "I guess if it isn't hurting nobody..." 

"You bewdy." Sniper broke out into a smile and patted him on the shoulder. "She'll be roight. Just trust me. I wouldn't let any baddies crawl about under our base, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Scout admitted. 

Sniper was one of the more reliable and less crazy of everybody on the team. He must have known something about whether things were dangerous or not, or else he'd have gotten a hand bitten off while he was in the outback throwing boomerangs at dingoes. 

"Go on then," Sniper said brightly, giving him a push towards the squidmonster. "Say 'ello." 

Scout took a couple steps closer, because he wasn't a pussy. The top Spy-like part was watching him and staying still, while the tentacles were moving back and forth, coiling around and making shf shf sounds on the damp stone floor. Scout reached out his hand, then paused. 

"Go a'ead," the squidthing said. "I won't bite." 

"I wasn't thinking about that until you said it, dumbass," said Scout. 

He reached out and put his hand on the base of one of the tentacles. It wasn't so bad. Smooth, and kind of soft, like touching the manta rays in the tank when he'd gone on a field trip to the aquarium as a kid, when he wasn't busy grabbing the sea slugs and waving them in the girls' faces. The monster must not have minded, since it didn't rip his head off, so he got a little bolder and stroked down the length. He had to step practically in among all the tentacles trailing on the ground to get close enough. They swished lazily around, like a cat's tail when it was getting pet. 

"Dude, you feel freakin' weird," Scout said, fascinated despite himself. 

"So I 'ave been told," the monster chuckled. 

It wasn't so bad, really. Sort of like something out of Doom Patrol. The monster in horror movies was never that scary once you got a good look at it. Just think of it like a guy in a rubber suit with no zipper. Soon Scout was running both hands along the tentacles and feeling the undersides. When he pressed his palms against the suckers they held on for a second, like a kind of handshake. He tensed up a little when the Tentaspy started touching back, coiling a couple tentacles around his arms, but Scout figured it was just give and take. 

"See?" said Sniper. "'e's a sweet'eart." 

Scout looked at Sniper, who was right there next to him, and didn't even seem to notice the tentacle looping around his bare calf. Then looked again. 

"Jeez, man," he groaned. "don't tell me you've had a freakin' hard-on this whole time!" 

Sniper had the decency to look embarrassed. "You were kinda interrupting somethin', mate." 

Aw, Christ. And Scout was doing so good at blocking that part of his brain forever. "Okay, talkin' to him, not killin' him, that I can follow. But what the hell were you lettin' it feel you up for?" 

Sniper's eyes went up to the ceiling for a minute. 

"Feels nice," he concluded. 

It was more than Scout could take. "Screwin' octopus monsters does not feel nice, you kangaroo fruit!" 

"'ow do ya know?" said Sniper. "Ya tried it?" 

Scout wasn't sure if he was stuck stammering at that because it was so stupid or because he had a point. 

"I zink we 'ave reached ze limits of what you can tell," the Tentaspy said. "Now I must show." 

"Whoa-oh, Squidfag," Scout said. "I am not gettin' to second base with anything with gills." 

Turned out he didn't have to worry. It wasn't him he was talking about. 

The Tentaspy wrapped four of its tentacles around Sniper's body and picked him up like a ragdoll. Sniper, a guy who jumped when people tapped him on the shoulder, just fucking laughed. The tentacles were touching him all over, which wasn't nearly as freaky as how he was liking it. A tentacle was wrapped around his waist to hold him up and was playing with his nipple with the tip. Another was massaging his shoulders, and the other two were wound around his legs. There was that look on his face, the same one that'd made Scout jump out of hiding and holler, but now it was closer, and it was for him. The way Sniper's eyes were closed like he was concentrating and his mouth was open just a little, and how his breath was speeding up, all mashed together and activated something that Scout hadn't known existed. It rose up in his guts, strange and powerful, and what scared him worse than anything was that he wanted more. 

The better a look you got at the monster, the less scary it was, right? 

The muscles in the tentacle under his hand shifted. Scout realized he was gripping it very hard. 

"Beautiful, isn't 'e," the Tentaspy said softly, looking right at Scout. 

Scout swallowed. 

"Keep doin' that," he said, throat dry. "Touch him more." 

"Ah, but my limbs, they are so busy," the Tentaspy said. "Perhaps you could 'elp me undress him?" 

Scout could have pointed out that he still had two hands and four tentacles, but, somehow, he didn't feel like it. 

He took a couple steps forward. Sniper was hanging about a foot off the ground, putting Scout's eyes level with his chest. Seriously. Good shape for an old guy. 

Sniper opened his eyes and gave Scout an encouraging nod. His voice came out low and throaty. "G'wan." 

Shit. It wasn't like they were covering much anyway. Scout grabbed them and yanked them off. Some tentacles helped. They were tossed aside before Scout had a chance to think too much about- 

Yep. That was another man's dick, all right. 

Then there was the tip of a tentacle running underneath it, and fuck if Sniper didn't make some interesting noises. 

They said don't knock it til you've tried it, right? So if you only did it once, to try, that didn't count. And the more weird and scary it was, the more Scout kind of wanted to try it, just to see if it was worth being scared of. Only pussies didn't do something just because it was scary. and maybe if he didn't, he'd always kinda wonder. 

"Uh, hey. Tentaspy. Squidfag. Thing." Scout poked him where his stomach should be, and whaddya know, felt human enough. "You can, uh, kinda touch me a little. If you want." 

He didn't have to look over to know that Sniper was watching. 

The Tentaspy smiled. 

"Like zis, mon petit?" he said, reaching down to trace his fingertip down Scout's cheek. It felt like there was something sharp under the glove. 

"Or like zis?" 

"Hoshit-!" 

All of the tentacles that weren't busy with Sniper were suddenly on Scout, all over his body, delving up his shirt and winding around his legs, lifting him up into the air like he was nothing. On sheer instinct he grabbed Sniper around the shoulders, and that was a mistake, because he was real warm and firm, especially compared to the cool tentacles, and his hair was all messed up and he still had that weird, fascinated look on his face, and... 

"Aw," Scout breathed. "What the fuck." 

He used one hand to grab Sniper's messy hair, leaned, in and kissed him hard. He didn't really know anything about kissing guys. He kissed his share of girls, yeah, they were lined up around the block back in Jersey, but never anybody like Sniper. Lips were lips. It wasn't that different, except for the loop of tentacle Scout's chest was pressing against, and the stubble around Sniper's mouth, and the low noise he made in his throat. Scout wasn't in the habit of half-assing anything he did, so he plunged his tongue in like he meant it. Sniper's mouth didn't really taste like anything, except, you know, guy. Then Sniper started kissing back for keeps, and it got hard to think about much of anything. 

Sniper gave him this loopy grin, and said, "I wasn't expectin' that." 

"Too fuckin' bad, koalafag." 

Scout messed his hair up some more because it was funny. Then he grabbed on to his shoulders, because the tentacles were feeling him up all over and it was suddenly hard to tell up from down. 

He tossed his hat over by the wall so it wouldn't fall into the water and get lost. It was a fucking great hat. Then he might as well do the same with his shirt. He had to peel it off, since it was already pretty damp. He hadn't noticed. It was like jumping into a swimming pool that was freezing at first, but felt fine once you got used to it. His shirt made a wet smack against the wall. It was dumb to keep his pants on if his shirt was off, so he wiggled out of those, which he'd never done in midair before, so it took some focus, so it took a minute to sink in that he was getting groped by a squidSpything while clinging to Sniper and wearing nothing but Red Sox underpants. 

The Tentaspy's eyes were lidded. It was incredibly weird to see somebody with their hands free be so obviously into touching someone. Him and Sniper, they were both giving Scout this look like he was something amazing they'd never seen him before. Yeah, he was pretty amazing, but Scout was used to having to shout that himself to keep people from pushing him aside and treating him like a kid, not getting this full attention. 

"You are lovely to ze touch, mon petit," he purred. 

"Uh, thanks?" said Scout, then noticed a pair of tentacles slipping under his underwear. "Hey, how bout you-" 

One hugged his ass. The other curled delicately around his cock. 

"Oh shit," Scout gasped. "Oh fucking hell." 

It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It felt weird, really weird, but god he hadn't even realized how tired he was of his own hand and he did not know anything could feel like that. He clung to Sniper's shoulders just for something to hang onto, because he was human and he must have been getting the same thing, because he was making these strange little noises right into Scout's ear. 

"Would you like me to stop?" said the Tentaspy, in the exact fucking same tone as Spy used when he was teasing him. 

"Don't you fuckin' dare." Scout wriggled around to get out of his underwear, which was just getting in the way now. A tentacle stroked his back and gave him goosebumps, while the one around his dick undulated and squeezed, and without thinking Scout bit down on Sniper's shoulder to keep from making any embarrassing noises. Sniper's skin was warm and salty. 

Sniper was panting in his ear and kissing sloppily across the side of his face. Scout was proud of himself for getting to him that much with just some teeth. He must be good at this. Or maybe it was that the end of a tentacle was sinking into Sniper's ass. 

"Holy shit," Scout said, craning his head, cause damn, you don't see that every day. "Doesn't that hurt?" 

"Nah, mate" Sniper said, almost whispering. His head was tilted back and his eyes were half closed. Every breath made the tentacle caught between them press against Scout's chest. Sweat stuck his hair to his forehead. "Strewth. That's good, luv." 

He grabbed onto some tentacles for leverage and was moving himself back and forth. Watching the tentacle going into him was disturbing, so Scout watched his face instead. The tentacle on Scout's cock was moving in a steady, hypnotizing rhythm. Sniper was making these gasping noises, louder and louder. 

"Thought you said we were sposed to- stay quiet," Scout said. His voice sounded strange to himself, low and half panting. 

"Tryin'," Sniper managed. Tentacles caressed his arms, and the tip of one traced over his throat, where the adam's apple was bobbing wildly. It was crazy. He was always so quiet you forgot he was there. Scout had a sudden vision of pinning Sniper down somewhere in the base and seeing if he could make him break his silence. 

"You make such magnificent noises, mon cher," the Tentaspy said. "'ow can you blame me for wanting more?" 

Suddenly Sniper twisted and made a sharp, panting cry that echoed off the stone walls. Scout clapped his hand over his teammate's mouth. The last thing he needed was somebody hearing and coming down here to see...Jesus, it was hard to keep a train of thought when Sniper was making that face and goddamn moaning into his hand. What could feel that good? 

Fucking curiosity. 

If it wasn't a dick, it didn't count as queer. 

"Hey," Scout said, before he could lose his nerve. He glanced at the squid out of the corner of his eye. "Legs. Don't leave me high and dry here." 

The Tentaspy smiled slowly. With pointy teeth. 

It looked like Sniper was getting some control of himself, or at least managing to muffle his moans himself. Scout let go, and immediately felt the tentacles coil around him with a will, including one traveling down the cleft of his ass. 

"Ah, your 'eart is beating so fast, mon petit," the Tentaspy murmured. 

Scout's fingers dug into Sniper's shoulder. 

"Just relax, mate," Sniper panted, in between kissing him all over the neck. "Trust me." 

And, for some reason he didn't quite know how to think about, Scout did. 

"Ffffuck!" he gasped. "Jesus faglicking christ, that feels fucking weird." 

It didn't hurt, though. It just felt cool, and slick, and really fucking strange. He hung onto Sniper and tried to adjust to the sensation. 

"'old on, mate," Sniper said, in a low, coaxing voice, and there were warm, callused human hands on Scout's waist. "You're doin' real good." 

"I'm not a fuckin' wallaby you're tryin' to feed-" Scout said, wiggling his hips around to try to get a more comfortable angle. Was something supposed to be happening now? He could see in Sniper's face it was working fine for him. Maybe Scout was doing something wrong- 

"Oh god!" he yelped as something went off and made his back arch into the clasping tentacles, and even his impressive vocabulary went blank. "Oh god. Ohhh god." 

He could see the tentacle working hard in and out of Sniper, and feel the one in him, and the Tentaspy was wrapping its out tentacles all around them both, like he couldn't get enough, with this fascinated look on his face making the mask arch up high above his eyes, and Sniper's breath was coming hot and harsh on his neck, and every time the thing worked in and out something in Scout's body screamed yes. He wanted, he wanted, he didn't fucking know what he wanted, except more. He pushed his body up against Sniper, and the tentacles let go of their cocks, so he thought who the fuck gives a shit anyhow and ground his hips against Sniper's, which made him let out this strangled sound that was pure fucking amazing. 

Then a tentacle wrapped around both their cocks and pumped them together, and Sniper made this shiver and moan and came all over all of them. He sagged into a bunch of tentacles that caught him and held him upright, and now the tentacle working over Scout's cock was slick and hot, while the one in his ass was making him see stars. Sniper wasn't out of the game yet, he got the Tentaspy to lower him down and was kissing Scout's stomach, sending little shocks of heat through his body every time his stubble scraped against his skin. He could hear these panting whimpers and if he felt one bit less good he might've worried they were coming from him. Right now he didn't care about anything but the muscular limbs all over him, running up his legs, coiling around his arms, brushing by his lips. He took that one in his mouth and sucked hard on the tip. It curled against his tongue and he was rewarded with an intake of air from the Tentaspy and a rush of giddy satisfaction that he could give even a crazy sea monster a few surprises. Then Sniper laid a bite right under Scout's rib cage, and the Tentaspy thrust deep, and the tentacle twisted on his cock, and Scout could feel a scream clambering for his throat, so he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed the Tentaspy by the neck and jammed his lips over his as his climax crashed over him. 

When Scout could see again, and think a little as long as it was in simple sentences, he was being set down on the walkway by the wall. Sniper was next to him. Scout let his head loll onto the older man's shoulder. For a few minutes, they listened to the lapping of the water. 

Finally, Scout said with sated awe, "Motherfucker." 

"Yeah," said Sniper. 

The pieces of Scout's brain were congealing together again. He didn't feel like rushing it. 

"Guess we'd better get dressed, huh." 

"Gotta be gettin' back," said Sniper, not moving. He was slumped against the wall like a sack of rangy Aussie dirty laundry. His hair was forging in all sorts of new and interesting directions. 

Scout sat back and laughed. "You look ridiculous, man." 

"Like you're any better," Sniper said lazily. "You look like somethin' the cat coughed up." 

"Eat a dick, koalahumper." Scout got to his feet with the wall's help. Okay, that was not a place he'd ever been sore before, but he was a badass. He could deal with it. "Hey, Squidfag, where'd you throw our stuff?" 

"Right 'ere." The tentacles were moving here and there, picking things up. Tentaspy presented each of them with a little pile. "There you are." 

"Thanks man." Scout took his stuff, then bit back a giggle. "Dude. He folded my shirt." 

"Good on 'im. Maybe he can teach ya." 

Scout pulled on his pants. "Hurry up. If you get a cold you're gonna have to explain to Medic why you have sucker marks on your dick." 

"I'll tell 'im I caught it from you." Sniper cracked his back and stood up. "I'm comin', I'm comin'." 

The Tentaspy was watching them quietly. He'd probably never had much chance to see two people just talking before. 

"Nice to meetcha, Squidface," Scout said. He probably looked like a loon, giving a goofy smile to the monster he'd been scared shitless of less than an hour ago. "Really nice. Like, crazy fuckin' nice." 

"My pleazure," the Tentaspy said. 

He flowed forward and took one of their hand in each of his human ones. His kissed them, first Sniper's, then Scout's. 

"Au revoir, mes amis." He looked at Scout with a glint in his eye. "Mon nouvel ami." 

He turned and sank soundlessly into the water. In a second, there was nothing but a ripple and, if you looked closely, just for an instant, a shadow under the shadows. 

"What a faggot," Scout said fondly. 

Sniper clapped him on the shoulder. He'd been friendly before, but never the real touchy sort. Scout wondered if that would change. He decided he wouldn't mind too much. "C'mon, kid. The others are gonna start wondrin' where we've gone off to." 

They started up the stairs. Right before the corner, where they could hear the faint voices of the rest of the team filtering down, Scout stopped. 

"Wot's the problem?" Sniper said quietly, reaching for a weapon that wasn't there. 

Scout was thinking. 

"You know," he said, "We're gonna have to come up with a lot of really good reasons to go down there."


End file.
